Craptastic

I just read some high-larious neologisms on /. and the MW site. One fellow on /. posted these as his favorites:

• Frienemy
• Asshat
• Sexcapade
• teh
• borked
• burninate
• pwned
• pathetisad
• craptastic

I literally laughed out loud, which I never do.

Then there is the Microsoft parents primer for slang. That's pathetisad.

Finally, it's summer(?)

Typical summer weather this morning, light overcast with a chance of actual sun. Once more summer arrives steathily here in the greater bay area.

OMFG Savemouse is so funny.

Clean up sports?

So I hear today that the smart guys in Washington DC are considering making federal law to prevent the big time sports players (Football, Baseball, Basketball, soccer?) from using steroids. The reasoning is the predictable "these players are role models for the kids and we can't have them juicing up!"

I got news for these people: The sports teams and the whole system of leagues, TV, and all that are one big entertainment conglomerate. So the logic goes that we can't have our entertainers (the star of the show) changing their bodies to enhance their performances, because the kids will think this is OK, and that is bad for them.

I got more news: The other entertainment businesses have bought into body enhancement hook, line and sinker and this is directly harming the fiscal, physical, and mental health of millions of kids and adults. Here's how:

Lets say you have a regular body. You know the symptoms: this droops a bit too much, that has some hair it shouldn't, the distance around this is too much, the distance around those is too little, these poke in instead of out, that doesn't do what it is supposed to like it did when you were 16. Well, that isn't good enough and you are a doofus for not doing something about it like getting plastic tits, laser treatments, some pills and creams, and a million other interventions to keep you from being normal. Why are you inferior? Because you are not like the people on the big screen, the slick magazine in the checkout line, or the people sitting in the private jet at the other end of the airport. And the entertainment industry makes sure that you hear about it a hundred times a day.

So you diet, even if your BMI is 22. If you are young and have the right disposition you kill yourself, even though you have your whole imperfect life ahead of you. If you are like most folks you feel perpetually inferior and kind of uncomfortable about it. If you have the cash you go to a surgeon to sculpt you into a hottie. If you look better than some other poor slobs you taunt them with your hotness. All of this makes everyone feel great. Not.

So next the congress will outlaw silicone and viagra in the porn business right? Why not, that is a $56,000,000 (worldwide per year) industry, and that makes it fair game for regulation right? From an article..."In the U.S. alone, porn revenue is more than movies and box office receipts, more than income from the performing arts, and more than earnings of professional football, baseball, and basketball combined. Globally, adult entertainment revenue is twice that of Disney."

MEMEMEMEME

Well my buddy Kate challenged me to a meme about books. Here are the resulting bits:

1. Total number of books we own (I counted "in our house" since we are believers in the library): 2005. This includes 608 books in the room of the fourth grader who doesn't like to read.

2. Last book I bought: Joel on Software.

3. Last book I read: Joel on Software. If you manage people who write software, get this book.

4. Five books that meant lot to me:
a. Lead the Field, an audio book about how one approaches their work and life and how your outlook deeply influences your outcome. It sounds southern-preacher hokey, but this book actually changed my life for the better.
b. The Fifth Discipline, a book on systems thinking. This knowledge in this one book has made me more money than anything else.
c. Catcher in the Rye, the timeless icky highschool classic about Holden Caulfield, what a schmuck. I absorbed the pathos in this book and felt pretty good about myself, even though I was a geek in highschool.
d. Tom Corbett; Space Cadet, When you are in the fourth grade, kids in space are really cool. This was actually a series of books that came from school. I had a bunch of them and read them all several times. I have no idea where they are now.
e. Carpentry, A small book, but filled with the greatest pile of practical wisdom about carpentry you could ask for from an old timer. Imagine talking to your grandfather about how to build houses for about eight hours straight and getting a transcript with illustrations.

5. Five people to take this challenge... I wonder if I have five readers?

Quiet on the set!

SO we got up and out early (7:45) this morning so we could get a few things done on the set for the Shakspeare shows in Menlo Park. Get all the details here. It was only going to take a little while but of course it went until three thirty or so. Didn't get any tea this morning or a real lunch... = headache. Also was working in the sun and wind, not exactly my forte. But the set looks pretty good if we do say so ourselves.

Unlike my bosom buddy Kate, I haven't recently changed anything about this blog, or my family site. I suppose this make me less of a man, or something. I did update the link to Kates blog though, lest her Google Page Rank drop precipitously.

P.S. Does anyone know how I can get me some undead minions. That sounds like it would be hella handy.

PPS. We you aware there is a strip club in Redwood City near the Target store? It's called Hanky Panky. Isn't that sweet?

Song of the South

When your name is Robert E Lee Collier, people think you are from the south, or at least that you have heard about Sherman's march to the sea. I'm here to tell you it aint true. I am not from the south, despite there being a Collier county in most all the southern states, and the Robert E Lee thing. And I don't know jack about Sherman's march. Long time ago, like four generations ago, my family was from the south; Georgia I think. But that's irrelevant now, at least to me anyway.

Housing in the rural south is wicked cheap. I picked up the Danville KY, local paper and tabulated the home prices. (No not the minifarms and trailers, real houses.) The average is $84K. That is out of the the seven listed. The most expensive one is $115K and is a 3 bedroom 1 bath, all brick house, with a carport.

I can't say I dislike the south in general. The land is pretty, here in Kentucky and Tennessee, anyway. The people are friendly, but not any friendlier than in the other places I have traveled. There does seem to be lots of churches, but it is the "bible belt" after all and churches are OK with me as long as people inside don't cast aspersions on me for not joining them. I really do not like the smoking. (See previous post) But I suppose that is the same everywhere too.

I can say though, without a doubt, the rural redneck fellas are tedious. What with the big ol pickups, trucker caps, "git 'r done" attitude, country music played real loud so y'all can enjoy it with them, etc., etc..

Well, now that I got round to actually complaining about something, my work here is done. Tomorrow I return to the land of fruits and nuts, home sweet home.

No Smoking

I'm on company travel in the south this week, Kentucky to be more specific. The thing about the states other than California (the good state) is that y'all can smoke pert near annywhur. This means that there is a smoking "section" in the restaraunts that is usually "all those tables right there" a few feet away from the non-smoking "section". The best part is that even in the non smoking section you can still smell the lovely acrid stench of the cigarettes.

I checked into my hotel motel last night to find out that my king size non smoking room was actually a queen sized SMOKING room. Needless to say it stank like the mother of all ashtrays. We were not impressed.

And in case you are thinking that they can spell good here, I saw a county vehicle this morning decked out with the phrase "Code Inforcement". Nuff said.

Well, time to git 'r done.

Pool anyone?

Finally the weather was warm enough and it was a weekend so I could lounge in the pool for a bit. Coco the border collie decided to get in a few times too. The kids have been in it a few times already this year, up til now I just maintained it!

It felt great. Now I'm gonna pack for a week on the road in Kentucky. Maybe I'll have a drinkie too.

If you are feeling too warm one day, give us a call and come by for a dip.

Silver plated cheerleaders

Great title huh? I'm thinking of creating a site where you can buy GreatTitles(tm) for you blog posts. Here are eleven free samples:

1. Ohmyfukkinggod Steve Jobs is a troglodyte
2. Tuna before bedtime, the fantasy
   
3. Sugar Pushers
4. Cleave unto my plow
5. After the procedure
6. Rhode Island Punks
7. Bigger, Larger, Fuller, Wide Open
   
8. The Bender and the Bendee
9. Jay Leno looked under my hood
10. Strappy, like the Manolo
11. This is gonna leave a mark
    

This business will be bigger than a sock puppet in 1999. Any of you want to invest?

Hostage situation

I'm gonna capture and tickle one reader an hour until I get a few more comments on the posts. Anybody want to volunteer to be first?

So now the dang ruh-publicans have taken over just about the whole shootin match. It seems you can't talk about anything anymore without being labeled a freak by the right. It seems no left leaning position is acceptable. Everything is completely partisan. It makes me ill. No matter how much you may care about your constituents real needs, you are evil, unless your peeps are the religious ones, or you live in a corn state.

Less ranting, more tickling.

The sandman cometh

Did you ever have one of those just-can't-stay-awake days. Yesterday was like that, I finally took a nap at 5, then fell asleep watching a really bad movie, then went to bed and slept like a rock. The night before I was falling asleep early too! Sheesh. At least I got the lawn mowed.

I probably have an inflammation in my semilunar colon valve adapter or something. Yawn.

I need to get started learning my lines for The Miracle Worker. Less yawning, more memorizing.