Tuesday, May 02, 2006

This is for Grace

This is one of those gimpy witty "get it off the internet from a site that has smileys and jokes every day and all that crapola" things but since my only best pretend internets friend urged me to do it I decided to pollute denigrate besmirch bless the blogoshpere with this drivel nugget.

You know you are from San Francisco if...
You take a bus and are shocked that two people are carrying on a conversation in English.
Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.
Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
You were born somewhere else.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.
You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.
When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.
Your child's kindergarten teacher is named Bree, has two earrings, wears skirts with Doc Martin's, and you aren't sure if they are male or female, but that's just fine with you.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Francisco.

4 comments:

grace said...

"Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak."

This one is my favorite. :)
(*)(*)

Bob Collier said...

I can't help but think that your boobicon (that's what I'm going to call those text boob things, I get to name them since I invented them) is indicating, um... lifting. High praise indeed.

grace said...

or a set of boobs that have just been jobbed. or lifted. whatever the past tense of a boob job is. :)

love the new term boobicon.

Bob Collier said...

Boobicon is a keeper. Much better than emoticon.