Monday, July 18, 2005

Man work

Well, we're gonna have the front patio put in and this means that there were a few items that had to go to get ready.

Item one: that stupid lip thingy. The front porch had a 5 1/2 foot long section that jutted out about 3 inches from the rest of the porch, forming a lip that went out to meet a step that was poured in front of the porch. For the life of us we couldn't figure what this was really doing for us and it would have made the planned veneer look hella strange. So, off with her head, so to speak. This was the fun part; renting a concrete say which is like a chainsaw with a 14 inch diameter diamond blade on it. Wouldn't you know this cuts concrete like it was wet sand! Plus it is a two stroke chain saw motor which makes lots of noise, concrete dust water mess, and some blue smoke. Fun!

Two: After the wicked-butch cutting foo and politely returning the saw, there was the sledgehammer and chisel work to snap off the partially cut-though lip thingy. The saw only cuts about four inches deep and the section was like six inches thick. So you stick a chisel in the saw cut and pound that puppy with a sledge until the rest of the slab snaps like the hull of an ice-bound freighter in the upper St Lawrence in January. Big honkin chunks of concrete fall to the awsome power of your hammer. Now that's what I'm talkin bout, Willis.

Thu-ree: The next to go were the various plants that were in the path of the new patio. Nothing like a little maxi-weeding to get the sweat going on your forehead and all other surfaces. Best part was the ruthless removal of the blackberry brambles threatening to take over the front 30. No mercy, no quarter. Out by the roots they came, into the bin they fell, like clothes off a stripper. Who's your daddy?

Four: A few years back I made a very nice intermediate step in between the paver walkway and the red concrete porch. It was functional but the whole affair looked unpleasant, mostly due to the red concrete and the "homeowner special" look of the step and pavers. Not that there was anything wrong with it, it was just really BORING. Out it came, whack whack, whack, with Big Blue, my mighty eight pounder with the blue fiberglass handle, and steely Dan, the six foot digging bar. A pile of rubble stands silent witness to my prowess.

Well after this you can bet your last dollar I slipped right out of the sweaty duds and silently into the pool.

The next thing to go is the little step in front of the lip. I'm gonna need a 90 pound jackhammer for that.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe you just used the word "hella".

Anonymous said...

Did you have WAY TOO MUCH FUN, or what?

Unknown said...

No the most WAY TOO MUCH FUN I've ever had, but this is as much as I can tell about in public and still have a shot at the Supreme Court.